I understand some of what you're going through. A...

2009-05-26T01:17:46.000-04:00

I understand some of what you're going through. After I began taking the anti-psychotic medications and my main delusion and paranoia began to fade, I became very depressed also, suicidal for a while. What you're going through is completely natural. After living with an illusion for so many years and looking back and thinking of all the wasted time, you are bound to experience depression. All I can tell you is it will ease up with time, but you have to be willing to give it the time and treat yourself gently and lovingly as you gradually adjust to the new you.

About your boring job, know that this is not what you are going to be doing for the rest of your life, it's only for now, to pay the bills. I think if you continue your work with NOW and NAMI that eventually you can get an advocate related job, you just need more experience, which you are getting.

Going back to school is a great goal, but take it slow at first and see how much you can handle. Jen you WILL get your degree. Just hang in there.

Lack of friends: at least you have one good offline friend. I don't have any, just my brother, but we are not as close as I would like, but then I don't put in enough effort either. I think as you find your purpose through advocacy and school, that you will find the friends you need. I really do.

The weight: Trust me, I know how badly it sucks and it's even worse for you because you're still a young woman. I hide behind being middle aged, but I used to be attractive too and sometimes it hurts to know that I have passed my prime for good. But still I am losing the weight and I will lose all of it by this time next year and I know that will make me feel so much better. You can lose the weight, but it will take a year and a half to two years of gradually losing it. There's no quick cure as you know, only more illness in the form of eating disorders. So start now by keeping a food journal. I aim for about 1500 calories a day and I've been losing on average about a pound or so a week, even without exercise (though I should be exercising I know). You can do this.

Well, I hope you know that I am one online friend who really likes and respects you.

Kate

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I understand some of what you're going through. A...