Wow, if only a couple of days of psychosis could have been the end of my nightmare, rather than seven years of psychosis, I would certainly have been grateful for the help.
Trouble was, when I was psychotic, like most psychotic people, I did not know I was psychotic. Neither did my family. So there is no way that I would have ended up getting this type of treatment even if it was available in the United States, which I'm not sure it is.
Then, the other reason I posted this video was because after watching it, I started glancing through the related and similar videos on Youtube, and they were all "antipsychiatry"diatribes. One was a song with a young man singing about how psychiatry is bullshit. You can see his lovely, "Bullshit, antipsychiatry, anti-medication song" here:
My two cents on that guy is that if he's smelling bullshit everywhere it's probably an olfactory hallucination that might be helped by a nice dosage of some Seroquel, and he needs some really fast.
But really, people posting videos like this bother me. It isn't that I'm against free speech, or the freedom to explore the dangers and the down-sides of medications. To the contrary, I know there are many bad side effects. I gained 100 pounds from medication. It deeply affects every day of my life when I look at my body and see that weight that I can't seem to shed, especially since I was anorexic for ten years when I was younger.
But for all of the truth about negative side effects, and the criticisms of Big Pharma, there are also a lot of wackos trying to convince people to go off their medications. And I see, frequently, unstable people posting on internet forums and blogs about how they have decided to go off their medication. I certainly believe you have the right to do that if you so choose, but please, please be informed of what you are doing. And please don't tell me about how medication is evil. You have not lived my life, just as I have not lived yours. And I really don't give a damn how many people think medication is evil, because, you see, I have personally lived through medication transforming my life and allowing me to function whereas I previously could not function. And my experience with that, my positive experience with medication, far outweighs anything I would believe in any book written by Robert Whitaker or the like.
I am not working for Big Pharma, and have nothing to gain by telling you this. But my truth is that when I was not on medication, I lived through years of total torment. It was hell. It was something I would honestly not wish on my worst enemy. I am talking about constant, daily delusions that were deeply held for years, constant auditory, and many visual hallucinations, and constant paranoia. I am talking about suicide attempts like buying a .357 magnum and putting it, loaded in my mouth ready to pull the trigger, about trying to drive a car over the top of a 150 foot high bridge, about overdosing on so many pills I was unconscious for days afterwards. In other words, I would be dead if I had not gotten better instead.
But I did get better instead, and I got better because of medications that worked for me.
Last semester, for those of you who read my blog back then, you might recall Iwas having a psychotic episode and experiencing a lot of problematic symptoms that caused me to consider dropping out of college. When I got on 80 mgs of Latuda, that went away. I am still in college, and I am doing fine. I get good grades, and sure, I procrastinate and do everything at the last minute, but I'm not in class hearing voices this semester like I was last semester. Because I am doing well now.
And for all the times I do well, for all the days I can simply go to work at my menial, part-time job, like anybody else could, for all the days I go to my university, for all the days I go to NAMI meetings or NOW meetings, for all the times I go shopping, or to the movies, or out to dinner with a friend or with my mom, I am grateful. I am grateful for the ability to cook and eat food and not have it seem complicated *(although I admit I mostly microwave stuff). I am grateful that I don't spend my time going to doctors trying to convince them to admit to me that they know I'm pregnant, like I did for four years when I wasn't pregnant. I am grateful for all the phone calls at my job during which I do not hear anyone talking about concentration camps like I have heard in the past. I am grateful that I have money now, and I can pay my bills and keep a roof over my head and own possessions, which I could not do when I was floridly psychotic for years. I am grateful for these things which medication has allowed me to have.
These are the benefits of medication. You might get better. You might go from hearing and seeing a total nightmare all around you and living in an unreal world for seven years to an improved state where you can function in society and live a decent life, experiencing happiness sometimes. You might be happy that you are alive when you used to constantly long for death. You might get better. I have gotten a lot better due to medication, and I appreciate that fact. I will not allow my reality to be dismissed by these people who post their anti-psychiatry, pro-scientology, anti-science, pro-myth, videos on youtube, or their rants all over the internet.
I admittedly haven't read Robert Whitaker's book. But there is a reason for that. I know what my life has taught me, and I don't need to read a book to hear that I am somehow completely wrong and these meds are poisoning my body and ruining me forever. I prefer not to read things like that. I might read it just out of curiosity and to hear whatever people are talking about when they discuss this book, but I will never buy into junk science or believe that my life and what I know about it doesn't count.