It didn't work out.
He just wants to be friends now. On other continents. So, yeah. I woke up today wanting to die. Actually, to be more accurate, saying out loud, "I want to die." I'm not suicidal though. I refuse to kill myself over a guy, that would be pathetic. I'm just really depressed.
I think I'm going to be alone forever. I knew that I was likely to get my heart broken in this doomed situation, but I wanted so badly to believe him that he really loved me, and that he really meant the good things he said about me, because no one else ever says that they really love me in a romantic way or anything like that. And I guess I was dumb enough to fall for it, because I was lonely, and I'm pathetic. And it was stupid, and now it's over, and here I am alone thinking about what an idiot I am and how I just wish I was dead.
Because who wants to date an overweight Schizophrenic? Not a lot of people frankly do. Not in my experience. And I have not dated anybody in five years. It's not looking like I'm ever going to find any real love or romance that isn't some sort of joke or facade that the person is faking. He told me it had been "infatuation", which I thought was interesting. Anyway, I don't feel like saying anything nice right now, so I'm not going to say anything else. I'm just really not in a good mood.