Sunday, October 07, 2012

when you start to smell it's time to shower

I took a shower and washed my hair. One foot forward. One small step.

I could really use some advice, if you have any, on how to get back to actually living.

6 comments:

one brave duck said...

hey, that's a great first step. i have been where you are now, many times. smelly, messy house, anxious about my illness and about school. there's a few things that have helped. the first thing i try and do is make a list and stick to it. i plan out my day in 30 minute slots, and write everything down: 8 am, take shower, 8:30 am, eat breakfast, etc etc... that way i don't have to decide what to do, i just follow the list. and it reminds me to get in the shower, clean the kitty litter, get on the bus to school...

the second thing i'd suggest is getting back in touch with your dr. as soon as possible and letting her know that you are having some horrible side effects from the new prescription.

do you have an accessibility services office on your campus? are you registered with them? they can help with extra tutoring for your exam, counseling, extensions on assignments, and so on.

keep studying. you may well do better than you think. i am very underconfident about my skills, but i am doing fine in school.

talk to your professor now, ahead of the exam. explain that you are having difficulties. ask for his/her advice. professors like to know ahead of potential problems, so they can help. reach out...

hang in there... you have been struggling like this before and you have managed to get through it. you will get through this, too

one brave duck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen May Sorensen said...

Hi Jen!

It is pretty clear from your posts that you feel horrible on your new antipsychotic. I'm so sorry it is not working out. You need to tell your doctor in no uncertain terms that the drug makes your quality of life unbearable. This is not negative symptoms. It is overmedication.

Before Navane things were getting pretty bad. I get it. So you felt something had to be done. But please try if you can a new drug rather than go back to the old class of antipsychotics. Nobody who used them had much of a life, and the life they usually had was spent in a mental institution. Yeah, your drug is only good for living the type of life of a person on a locked ward. Been on an old class of drug for two years while I was locked up on a hospital ward twenty or more years ago. I know what those drugs do to you. And your life has so much more potential.

I sometimes take a shower on the third or fourth day. The trick is to use deodorant, perfume, and always clean clothing. But nothing can be done when the hair looks bad. Except force yourself to take a shower. Been there a hundred times. But for me, I say to myself "number one priority today, take a shower", and you have so many other priorities to deal with.

If you can, make a list how your life has deteriorated since the new drug. Apathy, little emotion, difficulty maintaining hygiene, loss of ability to read, dulled intellect, etc. You may not remember everything when you get to the visit.

Good luck Jen! You are a fighter. Its just right now you are on a drug that really isn't good for you. And its taking away all your lust for life.

Take care,
Karen

Kristy said...

take a garabage bag and throw stuff out 1st step. Anything smelly or just plane needs to go in. When that is picked up make piles of other things that need to find a home. Work on each pile till it gets picked up. If you have the money take all clothes to a washing service. Most of all take care of yourself first. Take that first step in the shower. Many timesI think the shower feels so good why do I make it such a chore. Most of all make yourself something healthy to eat. Make a big pot of something that you can have leftovers. When I don't feel like cooking I tend to live on frozen food and it makes me not feel so good. I get back to cooking by cooking something that I can eat over and over at first . Example taco salad that can be a little different every night. Most of all get your med checked. If you cant tolerate it and it is making you like this then it isnt for you. Remember also you just have to get through a day dont project into the future.

beetrootsoup said...

Hi Jen! I'm enjoying your blog, and especially loved your list of 'things I wish I could tell my mother, and other negative people'. I linked to it, I hope that's OK. I've also put you on my blogroll.

I haven't read yet about your new drug so I can't really comment on that, but I totally understand the feeling that taking a shower is a mammoth task. I have often felt like that when depressed.

There's some really good advice here...making a schedule of stuff to be done at particular times is something I never thought of. It also gives a sense of schievement when you are able to tick everything off.

I definitely find it helps to scale down your expectations of yourself at times like these. Give yourself a pat on the back when you manage to take that shower or complete a simple chore. Reward yourself and tell yourself 'well done' for getting dressed, eating, washing up, feeding cats etc.

I always found my professors very understanding when I was at Uni, as long as I took the time to explain things to them honestly. I hope your school will do the same.

Zoe x

SLG said...

I'm sorry things have been so tough for you lately. But you're a really strong person who can pull through this.

I can offer some small advice in terms of trying to get stuff done around the house. I'm always trying to trick myself into doing chores and things that I generally don't want to or don't feel like I have the energy to do. But I always seem to have energy for making lists and charts.

General piece of advice: think of something you do like doing / have the energy for. (Making lists, cooking, sorting things by color, dancing, BLOGGING, making playlists, anything really) and then try to incorporate those things into the stuff you don't want to do (make a playlist with songs corresponding to the chores you need to do, make a chart where you can check off things you've done, dance while you do chores, blog about the stuff you need to do--private or public.)

If you a list/chart afficianado like myself,here are some websites that have helped me organize my life:

http://www.chorewars.com/
(For motivating yourself to do chores. I really liked that I could customize the whole thing.)

https://workflowy.com/
(A simple website for making lists)

https://www.mint.com/
(For keeping track of your finances. I found my general anxiety over money went down once I could see all my accounts and bills on one screen.)

http://igniteshow.com/videos/jane-concussion-slayer-ep-66
(Even though a concussion is very different from your situation at the moment, I thought this video offers an interesting suggestion for how to ask other people for help. My apologies though if the roleplaying wouldn't be helpful for you.)

https://www.google.com/calendar/
Following up on One Brave Duck's comment, some days I've found it really helpful to plan out almost ever hour of my day. On gcalender, you can do that and color code it.

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