Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Laugh with me

So, I never talk about my job here much, but I work at a college. Let's just say it's an easy college to get admitted to and leave it at that. I don't need to be too specific in case anyone from my workplace should ever have the unfortunate chance of reading my blog. The college has a call center, which is where I have worked for almost four years. The college also has a nursing program, which is extremely difficult to get admitted to. Many people call the college who want to be nurses, or physicists, or chefs. People from all walks of life who want to do something - pretty much anything you can think of - will call this college, thinking they can do it there. I am not entirely sure why they are so optimistic. My mom and my sister both graduated from this nursing program, and it wasn't easy for either of them. I should add that I root for anyone trying to better themselves, and I do my best to help these people who call, but sometimes, the job is too much and you must laugh.

Anyway, so just for fun, I thought I'd share with you a call I had today.

"Hi, I want to be like a nurse practitioner or a APRN or ANPR or whatever because my plastic surgeon told me that that's what I would need to do to give Botox injections."

Yes, I think I spoke to you about this a couple of weeks ago, right? You wanted me to have a health programs advisor contact you about how you could become a nurse so you could give Botox injections. Now you want to be a nurse practitioner?

"Yeah, so like I want to give Botox injections for my job so like how long is that gonna take cuz like I don't have a whole lot of time I want to waste and I like really hate math and history and science so I don't have to like do any of that boring stuff to be a like nurse practitioner or whatever, do I?"

Yes, actually you do.

"Oh. So like can I do this in a year or something?"

Actually you would need to get your Associate's of Science in Nursing here before you could enter our Bachelor's of Nursing program. Then you would have to complete your Bachelor's and after that, you would have to get a Master's Degree to be a nurse practitioner.

"So like how long are you talking about cuz I don't want to waste my time I just want to get started giving Botox injections as soon as possible so I can work for my plastic surgeon."

It will probably take you at least seven years to do all of that.  First, you have to apply to become a student here....

"And then I'll have my Bachelorette of Arts?"

No, you would then get an Associate's of Science in Nursing. After that you would need your Bachelor's of Science in Nursing....

"So like how come it takes so long cuz I don't understand why it would take that long? Would you just talk to me like I've never attended college before cuz like whatever you're talking about doesn't make any sense. I don't want to do all that stuff. I just want to be a APRN."

I think it's called an ARNP. And you need a Master's Degree to be one.

"What's a ARNP?"

It's a nurse pracititioner.

"Oh, so that's what you've been talking about, being a nurse practitioner?"

Yes. I thought that was what you said you wanted to do when you called.

"Well that takes so long and I don't want to go to school that long so like why does it take so long?"

Because you need a Master's Degree to be an ARNP. On the other hand, if you apply to our nursing program, and your GPA in your general education courses is high enough that you get admitted to the program, then you can become a nurse in two years after you start the program. First you have to apply to our school, have your high school transcripts sent, take a placement test and complete orientation, then...

"A nurse? My plastic surgeon said I need to be a APNR to be able to give Botox injections."


"So like you're saying I can't just sign up? I have to like apply?"

Yes. That is what I am saying to you.

"So I become a nurse and then I apply?"

No, you do not become a nurse and then apply to nursing school. You apply to get INTO nursing school, in order to become a nurse. You apply first.

"Oh. So like, this sounds like it's too much of a hassle, so how about being a dermatologist? How fast can I do that? It's just a couple years right? Faster than being a ANPR?"

To be a dermatologist you have to go to medical school and graduate.

"Medical school? How long does that take?"

Several years.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you later."

Okay. Have a nice day. Goodbye.



  1. Thanks Jen. You made me laugh : ) People can be so silly sometimes.

  2. and then...

    you wonder how people get to the end of each day.

    and it makes my struggles seems so simple. atleast...i have common sense, have a good paying job tha nurses, police officers and therapist leave their jobs....and come to mine. (which i think is stupid but that is a comment for another day).

    anyway...thanks for the chuckle.


  3. Whoa. On those days when I think I'm out of touch, I'll think of this post :)
    Adventures in Anxiety Land

  4. I love your blog, I haven't read any poetry on here, forgive me if do have sum, but I have a blog for schizophrenia and schizo affective disorder and for poetry called

    I hope u will post sum poems, and if your readers write please ask them to check it out.



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