Sunday, January 15, 2012

dysfunctional families

Happy families are all alike; unhappy families are all unhappy in their own way.
-Leo Tolstoy

I had to remove my last post, only because this blog isn't really private enough to write openly about my family, since there are people in my family who have read this blog (or maybe just one person at some point anyway).

Suffice it to say, my family is causing me a lot of unnecessary stress, and it's really getting to me to the point that I can't deal with talking to them.

There is a lot of mental illness and a lot of alcoholism in my family. I have to say that most of the people with these problems in my family do little to nothing to get help for their problems, and in some cases would not even admit they had the problems, even though the problems have been diagnosed by professionals and/or are blatantly obvious to anybody who knows the person.

I'm not saying I am better than them because I do see a psychiatrist, and admit I have a mental illness, but what I will say is that I am tired of dealing with self-centered, sick people who refuse to get help and don't seem to care. I am tired of feeling responsible to help people who would never bother to help me with anything and who don't care to help themselves either. I am tired of feeling  guilty because this bothers me. I am tired of feeling selfish if I'm not spending all my time worrying about someone.

I think to some extent we all have to make a choice to seek help. Particularly when you have an addiction problem, you have to make the choice to stop ingesting the addictive substance. If people make the conscious or, at least, subconscious choice, to not give a damn about it, then they often exhibit heinous behaviors, destroy their lives, and wreak havoc on the lives of everyone around them.

I'm not interested in being involved in this kind of scenario anymore.

Someday I will be more free to explain exactly all that I am alluding to here, but unfortunately I can't do that at the moment, so if you read my deleted post than you will know more than the other people reading this.

I will just say that sometimes relatives are not helpful to be around or talk to. I have enough trouble dealing with my own illness and managing my life without worrying about numerous other people's problems all the time. I can't deal with their drama right now.


  1. I can relate to this post. You can't spend all your time stressing about others' issues just because they are family. It only makes you feel worse and drains you. Does this make sense?

  2. Yes, this makes a lot of sense, Afton. I think one family member is now going to get help that they need, so that is a good thing. But I know hat you mean. I have a hard enough time dealing with my own problems.


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