Good news and the weight of making major life-altering decisions

I posted here before about how I had gotten denied admission to a major, local university because I had a low "completion ratio" for classes that I had attempted to take years ago, but had to drop due to either severe depression or psychosis running my life. I read on the university's website after receiving the letter that said I was denied admission that I could appeal this decision, but that "fewer than ten percent of appeals are approved", and basically you should find another college to go to. Nonetheless, I decided to appeal the decision, because there were legitimate reasons, beyond my control, as to why I had to drop those classes in previous years, and dammit, I didn't want this to stop me from going to a university. I didn't think I'd get admitted at all, but I asked people write me letters of recommendation. I got a letter from my former therapist who saw me for most of the past four years, a letter from past presidents of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) in my county, one from a professor who actually teaches at this university and who is familiar with my advocacy work for the National Organization for Women, a letter from the Florida president of NOW, a letter from a staff member in the office of services for students with disabilities at my current college (the community college), where I have received services for years that have helped me get through school to this point, and a letter from a wonderful former professor of mine who has remained a friend and mentor over the past fifteen years and knows all about my illness, which stated that he would personally go and talk to the dean of admissions if it would help me get into the university, and then I wrote my own letter, detailing my story. My letter was 15 typed pages. I also included medical records, such as a psychiatric evaluation that was done recently, and notes on my medications and current treatment. I sent it all in, several weeks ago, figuring it was pointless to do this but I had to try or I'd wonder forever what would have happened if I had tried.

A few days ago I found out I was admitted to the university. I was shocked! I was totally shocked.

I was thrilled and couldn't believe it. At the same time, I was instantly overwhelmed with the weight of the decisions I now have to make and the things I now have to do. I wasn't prepared to get admitted there. I need to finalize the decision on my major. I wanted to do social work, although it doesn't pay much money, because I think I'd like it, and I think I'd be good at it. I do a lot of helping people with advice and a lot of volunteering with NAMI, and I know a lot about mental health resources, so I think I'd be alright as a case manager in a community mental health agency. Then again, the fact that I have a mental illness does not need to define my life or decide my future career. Ultimately, this decision came down to the fact that, even if I got admitted to the very selective social work program, I'd have to be a full time student, and I'd have to do an unpaid internship. Being a full time student is something I normally never do, because I work, and part time college is really all I can manage with my part time job. Driving an hour each way four days a week for classes, and maintaining my job, and keeping up with the studying and coursework for all those classes just wouldn't be possible for me. Other people may be able to do that, but I am not up to that. So I am not going into the social work program.

Then I had to decide on which major I am going to do. I have been contemplating this for days, and I have still not decided. There is also another decision I need to make, and that is, which campus I am going to go to. There is a monstrous campus in a local, major city I could attend, and that is the university's main campus. Then there is a small, closer campus I could attend where there are only a few majors to choose from. The major, Interdisciplinary Social Sciences, is offered there, and this really intrigues me. Women's Studies is also offered there, but for practical reasons (like getting a job), I don't think I'll choose that major.

I have spoken to advisors at both campuses on the phone, and then, the other day, visited the smaller campus and spoke with an advisor, turned in my final paperwork for financial aid, spoke with admissions representatives, and spoke with someone in the office for disabilities services. I came away from that still unsure as to what to do.

The degree that I was getting at the community college was Public Policy and Administration, and there is a possibility that I'd get a better-paying job with that degree than with a degree in social sciences. I have no way of knowing for sure if this is true. I have been in a low income status for so much of my life that I really want to get myself out of poverty, be able to get a decent car, someday buy a house or at least get a nicer apartment in a safe neighborhood, and do some traveling sometime in this lifetime. I do want a degree that will allow me to make enough money to do those things. This is assuming that I will be able to work full time, something that I've never been able to do for more than a few months in my life, so this is all still hypothetical anyway.

What to do....what to do???

I have to figure this out, and fast, because classes are starting in a few weeks. I have been running around trying to get things done to be able to take classes in the fall, and I really wish that there was someone I could ask who could help me make this decision. I've asked the few friends I have, and people basically say different things, but of course no one can make the decision for me, all they can do is tell me that I should make the one that is best for me. I am just not sure what that is.

If you have any thoughts on this, I'd be interested in hearing them. I am open and willing to listen to all opinions on the matter. Heck, I even posted a poll about it for my Facebook friends to respond! I'm that desperate for help.

I'm trying to maintain my sanity and not get too anxious during this stressful time, and it's rather hard. But I'm trying, and I'm trying to make sure I get enough sleep which isn't working out too well these days, as usual. Right now they're treating my apartment building for termites and I'm spending the nights at my mom's house or at a spare apartment the landlord owns, because they made the tenants evacuate to put a tent over the building. Because of all this that has been going on, I have not been able to keep up with other people's blogs lately. I also took a trip to Baltimore to visit relatives, and a trip to a conference for NOW, so that has all kept me very busy in recent weeks. I apologize for not visiting your blogs and commenting on them lately. I know it's unfair to expect anyone to comment on mine when I've been absent from yours, but if you are here and reading this, I would be very grateful if you would say what you think about this topic.

Thanks, as always, for listening. I truly appreciate all of you readers.