Sunday, March 20, 2011
sad & anxious mix
I cannot describe how anxious, terrified, and severely depressed I am right now. Suffice it to say, it is the worst it's been in years. I don't normally feel like this anymore, and I am concerned about developing psychotic symptoms which seem to be starting out already with mild ones. I am going through a situation where I have no idea where I am going to be living soon. And that scares the hell out of me. After you've been homeless and lived in three different shelters in the past, it is terrifying to lose your stable place of living. I have fleeting thoughts of suicide, which is very abnormal for me now that I'm doing better than the years when that was frequent. I definitely will not kill myself, but that I feel so low to think about it, well, that's how low I am now. That's about all I can say. These songs explain the rest.
Edit The Next Day: This post is really lame. I apologize. It sounds pathetic and stupid, and these songs are dumb. I would delete it, but you know, everybody is lame once in a while. So, oh well. It was late at night when I wrote the post and for some reason it seemed like a good idea at the time. Usually I don't get this depressed, so of course getting this way again, reminded me of my days when I was young and always depressed, and I suppose that is why I posted that music. Sorry about that.