Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Gratitude

Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow. There are many things I am thankful for, and I have made lists of them on this blog before. I will do that again. However, there are some things I'm just grateful to have survived. I had my share of scary experiences with predators who wanted to take advantage of a confused, psychotic young woman. Someone who offers to give you a ride in their car when you're lost and delusional, is a very sick criminal if they use that opportunity to force you to do sickening things. When someone takes you on a "date" and assaults you it's really traumatic for people who don't have mental illnesses, and perhaps even more traumatic, or at least confusing, to someone who is psychotic. Sexual assaults happen to lots of women every day. And so, this song is for them.

Lyrics:

"Gratitude"
thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
thank you
for the beer and the food
thank you
for loaning me bus fare
thank you for showing me around
that was a very kind thing to do
thank you
for the use of the clean towel
thank you for half of your bed
we can sleep here like brother and sister,
you said

but you changed the rules
in an hour or two
and I don't know what you
and your sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?

look at you
little white lying
for the purpose of justifying
what you're trying to do
I know that you feel my resistance
I know that you heard what I said
otherwise you wouldn't need the excuse

thank you
for letting me stay here
thank you for taking me in
I don't know where else
I would have turned
but I don't come and go
like a pop song
that you can play incessantly
and then foget when it's gone
you can't write me off
and you don't turn me on

so don't change the rules
in an hour or two
I don't know what you and your
sisters do
but please don't
please stop
this is not my obligation
what does my body have to do
with my gratitude?

-Ani Difranco


3 comments:

The Depressed Reader said...

Hi Jen,
I can't imagine what going through those things must have been like. You are strong to have survived through those times and those experiences. No one should have to go through that, but like you say, it happens all the time. The world is far from what it should be.

I'm not quite sure what to say, but I am glad that you made it through that time in your life to be where you are now, healthier and doing what you can to help others. I think that tough experiences can either destroy us or help us become wiser, or sometimes even stronger. I'm grateful you found the will to fight and come through to the other side.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

Wow. What a powerful post. You have been through a lot and it's amazing but wonderful that you survived. We are the better for it!! Thank-you for being out there in our little community!! Happy Thanksgiving!! I'm thankful to have you as a friend. :)

Jen Daisybee said...

Depressed Reader: Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate them.

H.B.W. - Thanks so much; I am glad to have you as a friend too.

I'm really grateful to everyone who reads this blog!

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