Tuesday, November 03, 2009

and we're back!

After some difficulties regarding a person who saw a post here that mentioned her/him, I had to make the blog private temporarily. I apologize to all my readers, because I know how annoying it to click on a link and then see that you need a special invitation to read the page. Unfortunately Blogger doesn't have a way to block anybody (as far as I know), so I had to block everybody, for a couple of weeks. Now that the situation with that person has been resolved, I hope that things can get back to normal around here. I need this space to write my stuff. It helps me to think clearly about issues that I'm dealing with, to evaluate various options of how to respond to situations, to debate with myself and others, to affirm who I am, and to feel much less alone in the world than I feel when I do not have this place to write.

Hence, there's a new guideline. If you don't like it, simply leave. Don't read it, and don't write to me about how I should remove my writing from my blog because you have a problem with what it says. It won't mention you. I don't write about other people here hardly ever, so there's not much chance you'll find your name. And if you do happen to find, and don't like it, then let me know without harassing me and accusing me of libel (this includes anybody and everybody). I don't lie here. What is said here is true. It is my view on my world, and it is primarily, after all, about me and Schizophrenia. It's not about you. If you think it is, I am sorry for your ego problems. Simply be gone with yourself. (Not to be rude or anything, but seriously, be gone).

Everybody else is welcomed, and I love your comments, and I encourage you to return. And if you want to post something here or share a discussion with me here by writing a post together on a specific issue, let me know. If it involves the issues that this blog is aimed to address such as psychosis, suicide, solitude, perseverence, and living with a mental illness or other disability, then I will certainly consider writing about the topic of your choice or letting you post here yourself.

Again, I am sorry that the blog was gone shortly, in case you stopped by. I won't be making it private again, so please return whenever you like.

~Jen

4 comments:

The Medcalfs said...

Yay! Welcome back!
Janet

Jennifer, aka beautiful mind, complex life said...

Thanks, Janet!

Prudence said...

Hi Jenny,

The issues that we all deal with ripple round this blogland like waves!

I've lost a friend very recently, admittedly our friendship was slowly becoming more shallow and various other issues had made it get that way, but the nail in the coffin was something that she read on one of my blogs. I had started a story, a fictional story. The opening scene was based upon the times when we chatted together, because something she said resonated with me, so I thought I'd build a story around it. But soon into the story it become purely fiction. She took the things which "I" said as the character to be my opinions of her and she said that our friendship died then when she saw my "true face".

The fact is that I didn't think those things of her, I'd just gone off on a fictional tangent. I could have mended the situation, apologised, explained. But then I realised that it was she who was in the wrong. She chose to read my blog, she knew I was struggling with finding my writing voice, that I was just messing about with different writing styles. She chose to believe something of me which was a false impression and the fact that she took that impression away and believed it made me realise that she didn't think much of me.

I've told her not to come to my blog anymore because I can't guarantee that she will like what she reads. I have removed the story (it wasn't much good anyway, which is more the pity) and I will be careful not to write anything about people that I know which isn't wholly true, but in the end it's exactly as you say - she chose to read it and believe it.

In the end now that she doesn't hang around my blog then I am wholly anonymous again and that feels safer. I wanted to be able to be completely honest on my blogs and I can't do that if I'm worried about people taking things the wrong way.

You need to be able to call this space your own. You are extremely brave to post here as you do and you need to feel secure and not constricted, otherwise this will become another place where you feel put upon by other people.

Your space, your rules!

I would say that what I have learnt from this and other "spats" in blogland is that you should make sure that you write as if anybody in the world could read it, and that you speak your truth honestly and openly if that's what you want to do.

Sorry for the mini-essay, I just know how you feel!

ACDesign said...

Continue to express yourself! This blog is your outlet and I commend you for standing up for yourself. No one can take your voice away (1st amendment).

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