Monday, June 01, 2009

murder of an abortion provider and cleaning my apartment

Ya think I was a little irritable in my last post? I know, I know, I don't usually rant and rave like that. And it's probably not very becoming. But at least it's honest. When one puts her thoughts out there for the world to view, they're not always pretty. But sometimes they have vibrant colors.

Well, last night I found out that yet another abortion provider has been shot dead. While he was at church, handing out church bulletins, some good Christian came up (okay, I don't know if the person was a Christian, but I am guessing he will say he is) and blew the man away. A family lost a father, a son, a husband, all because somebody doesn't like the fact that women have the legal right to choose abortion in this country, and we've had the right to choose since the 1970's which is an awfully long time (30 some years out of a few, um, billion years since the world started - providing you actually believe in evolution).

Wow. Just wow. My own mother's response was to say that the person did a good deed for killing the doctor because the doctor "murdered babies", a fact which she learned from Fox News. My mother's not a hateful, horrible person, but she believes things I don't believe, so we obviously don't agree on certain issues. The funny thing is, before that happened, my mother was at my apartment where we ate dinner and watched a movie and got along quite well. Luckily my mother is not a violent person and would never actually kill someone. But people believe weird things. I don't claim to understand these things, as you can see from my last post. In fact, people often leave me completely baffled and confused.

For example, I have incurred the wrath of one hate-mongering, sexist, homophobic, racist jackass who I have the misfortune of being distantly related to by marriage. He is on Facebook calling me stupid and making fun of me, because, well, the guy is a loser with nothing better to do with his time. I also think he's probably a Nazi, considering some antisemetic comments he's made, and I would not be remotely surprised if he's a card-carrying member of the KKK and some sort of militia group too. The guy makes me sick. His opinion of me, negative as it is, is not something I'm going to get too worried about. I just hope I don't run into him in a dark alley or, at, say CHURCH, when he's carrying a gun. And I am quite sure he owns a lot of guns. He also lives in Texas. Enough said.

Back to me and the purpose of this blog. So, I went through another long phase of messiness lately. It got totally out of control, yet again. I let things pile up, and pile up, and then it had to be dealt with. So for the whole weekend I was cleaning. I cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned. Now I just have to wash the kitchen floor, do about ten loads of laundry, and all will be looking good. I am glad I cleaned. I am not glad I allowed the place turn into a monumental disaster before I got the nerve to tackle it. But that is a problem of mine that has been there for a very long time. My mother has the problem. My sister has the problem. My brother does not. He's a neat freak, and I have no idea how he turned out that way. But the problem with messiness is something I know many other people with mental illnesses experience too. I think some day the particular brain glitch that causes this will be discovered, and, viola, a medication that costs tons of money will be developed to fix it. I hope I'm still alive when that happens.

So, the world is a mess. But my apartment is clean. And for this I am grateful - to myself! Grateful to my self for cleaning it. Who else deserves credit for that? I think it's perfectly okay to be grateful to one's self. I think people should try that more often. I think I will. And I hope I will not let my apartment get horribly messy again.

I should also mention something about my health issues. I am now on two thyroid medications, because I have been to see an endocrinologist about my hypothyroidism. I am also on an appetite suppressant (prescription) that I got from him. I am going to get an endoscopy with a biopsy to check for sure as to whether or not I have Celiac Disease, next week. I am also going to physical therapy again, once or twice a week, and having been doing so for a month or so. I am trying to get into better shape, deal with my chronic back and shoulder pain, and lose weight. This is a lofty goal, perhaps, but I am set on definitely losing this weight and I know that I can do it. I'll let you know when I start making progress.

I also want to mention here that I recently read an excellent book which I would recommend anyone interested in the abortion debate read. It's called This Common Secret by Dr. Susan Wicklund. In this well-written autobiography, Dr. Wicklund, an abortion provider in the midwest, describes what her career has been like. She talks about the people - the antis, she calls them - who threaten her with their antichoice zeal, post "Wanted for Murder" signs with her face on them all over her hometown., how they followed her little girl to school and harassed her, how they stood outside her house screaming and shouting - many times, how they followed her everywhere she went, and harassed her everywhere. She talks of how she had to wear a bullet proof vest to work, and how she had to hire a bodyguard to go with her everywhere she goes.

Dr. Wicklund's career is yet another example of what some people will do to protect a woman's right to choose what happens in her own reproductive organs. Dr. Wicklund is my hero, and I am glad she has not been murdered like so many of her colleagues. Hopefully, she will live a long life, however, the fact that she has to be constantly harassed by fanatics says a lot about the state of misogyny in our society.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jennifer - nice to meet you. You are a really brave person and talented writer. I look forward to more from you.


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