Saturday, February 24, 2007

update

This is the first time I've posted here in over a year. That's surprising. I had sort of forgotten about this blog and also figured it would no longer exist. But here it is.

In case anyone stops by, here is an update on the past year:

I moved out of the group home I was living in, and into an apartment that has a low rent because it is owned by a mental health organization. I live here with my boyfriend who I've been dating since October 2005. I got a job, working for an agency that provides services for people with disabilities, and I like my job.

I stopped hearing secret language and voices. Stopped. Completely. Because my medication worked.

I got a bit plump, which is terrible for my self-esteem but which happened because most anti-psychotics cause weight gain. I just recently went off the Risperdal Consta injections because of the forty pound weight gain, and switched to another antipsychotic called Abilify. So I'm in the middle of a medication adjustment right now, which means things are a little shaky.

I went back to college, taking one class this semester.

Every week I go to therapy and talk for an hour mostly about the things I used to talk about here. Or at least partially.

Some things changed, some did not. I still spend a lot of time feeling isolated and lonely. I only really have one friend who just moved far away, and even with her I don't talk about my illness much at all.

I still hide it a lot. Nobody at my job knows I have schizophrenia. They, even though they work to help people with disabilities, do not understand mental illness much, for the most part.

I work just part time, twenty hours a week so I don't make too much money to lose my disability benefits which would mean losing my healthcare. I also don't think that I could work more than twenty hours a week right now. That's unfortunate. I wish that were not the case. At the same time, working twenty hours a week is a lot more than I used to be able to do. And next month, I'll have been at my job for one solid year. I'm proud of that.

I'll write more sometime.

2 comments:

Ken Albin said...

Beautiful mind!!! I always wondered how you were getting along. There was always something special about you, even during the bad times, and I am so pleased that you are doing better now. You deserve some happiness in your life. We all have experienced enough sorrow Besides, we Floridians need to stick together! (grin) Take care and please keep in touch.

rilomanuel said...

You are beautiful. All your words just tell me that you are unique and that is also the reason to make difficult for you to interact with people.
Just be patient and do not quit any of your goals.
Tell me what are you studying in college?
I hope you can read these posts

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