Friday, August 05, 2005

still alive......

okay, to pick this back up.......

i was going to shoot myself....i was stopped by police and have been in "treatment" *that word carries a huge variety of definitions, every since.

People are lovely and fascinating everywhere, but my life is a pile of garbage now, and basically.......

If I don't escape from here soon (which would be, honestly, easy to do), or find a way to commit suicide in here, or wait until I get out of here which would then make it almost inevitable, hopefully the drugs the doctor here is tarnishing my brain with will be changed because right now I can't see too many reasons to stay on this planet with the downward spiral that has come to define my life.

I have no internet access and that's about all I have to say until some other point in time.


  1. You know, I have never really liked blogs. And this stupid thing I created is perhaps one of the most ridiculous and self-indulgent, self-pitying, pathethic pieces of crap I've ever created in this lifetime.

    So I don't know that I'll be back here again.

  2. also, don't make the mistake, if a doctor informs you that you have Schizophrenia, of telling people tht you have it, and expecting them to remember who you are.

  3. Just out of morbid curiosity, what caliber gun were you going to use?

  4. A short while back I thought I was going to die due to heart problems. That is now under control but I learned from the experience that where there is life there is hope and that life is a precious thing that should be cherished. I hope you find the help there that you need and that your life improves to the point that you see the joy that being here can bring you.

  5. Nightmare:

    the caliber was a .357 magnum, with .357 bullets, of a type called Glaser Safety Slugs that explode upon impact into a "target"...

    Just answering out of morbid reasons.


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