that's all she wrote

i went to work tonight, and was in pain and left and i'm not going back again.
i said to a couple people that i was moving to maryland. nobody will really care, actually. i said, it's been nice knowing you, i probably won't be back, and goodbye.
i told the receptionist who was asking for help with a crossword puzzle what jaberwokki is, and that borne identity was the answer to the matt damon question, and to have a fabulous day. maya who said she wanted to give me this really cool Tori Amos book she has was the only one who seemed surprised when i said i might not be back; i wanted to talk to her. she's a nice person, and also a therapist. i have some great books i'd like to give away, but none of them are with me anyway. they're all rotting in my mother's garage in a pile of cat feces which is where my brother and his wife left my belongings after i got evicted from my apartment since i was locked in the hospital in december and my mom thought it a good idea to tell my landlord that i was locked in a psychiatric unit and he said he was kicking me out of my apartment.
instead of keeping my things in their house, they dumped it in my mom's crappy garage where i never have been able to retrieve it all from since i ended up half living there anyway. whatever.
i am tired and might not write here anymore.
i went to have a living will notarized, even though most likely a living will from a suicide won't be honored anyway, but there were no notaries left by the time i got to the places.
the person doing the training class i was supposed to be in at work was giving me the message. he said, say goodbye. he said, finish the job. these phrases were keen. i mean, that's what i have to do now.